This is probably the most difficult letter to write and will be my final one.
I realize that I’m not going to beat this. My body has been decimated by my own antibodies for some unknown reason. This is a horrible disease. My kidneys are no longer functioning. I’m debilitated. I can no longer do the things I love to do. This includes my medical practice, walking, hiking, being active, and enjoying life with my family and friends.
Justine and I have talked about these things for many years. Fortunately, I have a very well written advance directive. I have discussed this with my family and my doctors. It’s my self-determination not to live in any fashion that would make me miserable. Unfortunately, I am suffering and miserable.
The course ahead would be long. Continued immune suppression with these terrible drugs puts me in isolation. The infection risk is so high. It also includes three times a week dialysis. Transplant would be way off as the disease needs to be knocked out. I cannot imagine myself being this debilitated and surviving any of this. I can’t imagine being in and out of the hospital. I cannot fathom undergoing testing and being sent to the emergency room for various medical conditions. That is just not what I wish in my life.
At this point, I will need to retire from my practice. We will be finding a doctor to replace me. I ask your patience please as Justine, Nick and Julie unfortunately are stuck with getting things covered. Everything will be fine. MDVIP will provide details as they emerge.
I’m going to go home on Hospice and die at home with my family surrounding me hopefully on Wednesday. Matt and Rachel are on there way to be with me too.
I really have had a fantastic life. A very loving family. Obviously the most wonderful wife, Justine, and my two boys and their wives who have been supportive and always loving.
I will certainly miss my siblings. We have become very close over the last several years. Our relationships with one another have blossomed. I love them all very much.
I will certainly miss all of the relationships I’ve had with my patients. I considered all of you part of my family. I treated you as such. Your expression of concern during my illness has been overwhelming and so supportive of me, Justine and the boys. The career I had was spectacular. I’m so glad that I spent the last 15 years in direct patient care. I helped as many people as I could. I will really miss that part of my life. It kept me stimulated. It gave me the energy to go on. I loved the practice of medicine. I will miss it.
It was obvious that it was my time to be taken off this earth. Suddenly, I went from being exceptionally well to very ill. My body declined so quickly. It seems not real but it is.
I’m sorry to leave people in a state where there may be bumps in in their healthcare. We are on it to ensure it will go as smoothly as possible. In my heart, I know the community is good. They will embrace my patients. My patients have been well cared for and deserve great care. You will all be fine.
I leave this earth. I know that I’ve been blessed in so many ways. I am especially blessed with my family, my career, and so many great relationships. I’ll certainly miss all the laughter, love, and certainly the beauty of Vermont and my beloved hometown of Scituate.
My best to all of you. Keep in touch with Justine, Nick, Martha, Matt and Rachel and may they have fabulous lives without me. Don’t forget me though as I will be watching you! Eat a big cookie in my honor and I will not be critical. Nick and Matt are going to prepare me sirloin steak on Wednesday. They’ll make lobster on Thursday. Then they will find me the best piece of pizza on Friday. I won’t be counting calories, salt, potassium or phosphorus but just enjoy my family. Frank
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